How many times have you complained today? I imagine it’s at least once but probably a lot more. If you are complaining, it means you have a reference point for whether you believe something to be good or bad, and you are not currently taking responsibility for creating the outcome of that that situation.
If you didn’t believe that there was something better, whether that be a bigger house, more money, a more fulfilling job, more fun, a more loving partner – you couldn’t complain. But you do believe there is something better because you are complaining about it.
Here is the truth. You have this image or wish to have something better, you know you would prefer it but you are unwilling to take the risks to create it.
The question you need to ask yourself is ‘What am I going to change to get what I want?’
Think about this . . . people only complain about things they can do something about. We don’t complain about the things we have no power over.
Have you ever heard anyone complain about gravity? No, never. Have you ever seen an elderly person all bent over with age walking slowly down the street with the aid of a zimmer frame complaining about gravity? Of course not. But why not? If it wasn’t for gravity, people wouldn’t fall down the stairs, planes wouldn’t fall out of the sky, and we wouldn’t break any dishes. But nobody complains about it.
And the reason is because gravity just exists.
There is nothing anyone can do about gravity, so we just accept it. We know that complaining will not change it, so we don’t complain about it. In fact, because it just is, we use gravity to our advantage. We build aqueducts down mountainsides to carry water to us, and we use drains to take away our waste. Even more interesting is that we choose to play with gravity, to have fun with it. Almost every sport we play uses gravity. We ski, skydive, high jump, throw the discus and the javelin, and play football, rugby and golf—all of which require gravity.
The circumstances you complain about are all situations that you can change—but you have chosen not to. You can get a bigger house, more money, a more fulfilling job, more fun, a more loving partner or anything else for that matter.
But all of these things would require you to change.
Learn to cook healthier food.
Say no in the face of peer pressure.
Quit and find a better job.
Take the time to conduct due diligence.
Trust your own gut feelings.
Go back to school to pursue your dream.
Take better care of your possessions.
Ask for help.
Take a self-development seminar.
But why don’t you simply do those things? It’s because they involve risks.
You run the risk of being unemployed, left alone, or ridiculed and judged by others. You run the risk of failure, confrontation, or being wrong. You run the risk of your mother, your neighbours, or your spouse disapproving of you.
Making a change might take effort, money, and time. It might be uncomfortable, difficult, or confusing.
And so, to avoid risking any of those uncomfortable feelings and experiences, you stay put and complain about it.
As I stated before, complaining means you have a reference point for something better than your currently situation gives you, but that you are unwilling to take the risk of creating it.
Either accept that you are making the choice to stay where you are, take responsibility for your choice, and stop complaining OR take the risk of doing something new and different to create your life exactly the way you want it.
If you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, of course you’re going to have to take that risk. So make the decision to stop complaining, to stop spending time with complainers, and get on with creating the life of your dreams.
Until next time…make it happen.
p.s. Have you downloaded my free ebook Staying Positive: 10 Simple Tips to Staying Positive? Click here to download it now!